Oct. 23, 2026

Gray Divorce with Renee Segal

Show Notes

Stan, Clarence, Barry, & the Health Chatter team chat with Renee Segal - Founder of Evolve Therapy - about Gray Divorce.

Renee Segal – Couple’s Therapist, Relationship Expert, and Founder of Evolve Therapy – is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Minnesota and a Certified Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) therapist and supervisor. She specializes in attachment, bonding, the mind-body connection, and the developmental impact of trauma. Renee has a particular interest in supporting couples navigating major life transitions, including gray divorce, and exploring the complex emotional and relational challenges that arise when long-term marriages reach a turning point.

Learn more about Renee Segal and Evolve Therapy at https://www.evolvetherapymn.com

Join the conversation at healthchatterpodcast.com

Brought to you in support of Hue-MAN, who is Creating Healthy Communities through Innovative Partnerships.

More about their work can be found at https://www.huemanpartnershipalliance.org/

Research

What is gray divorce?

“Gray divorce” is defined as a divorce or separation that occurs later in life, usually at age 50 or beyond. Couples who get divorced at this stage in their lives tend to do so after having a long-term relationship of years or even decades.

How prevalent is Gray Divorce?

Gray divorce grew modestly between 1970 and 1990 but doubled in 2010, and the rate continues to climb.
In 1990, 8.7% of marriages among people over age 50 ended in divorce. By 2019, that number had grown to 36%.
The researchers also noted that people over the age of 65 are the only age group with growing divorce rates. In contrast, the divorce rate among adults in their 20s and 30s has actually declined in recent years.

Reasons people pursue a gray divorce

The older couples tend to divorce for a wide variety of issues that add up or pile on over the years.
One explanation for growing gray divorce rates is that Baby Boomers—adults born between 1946 and 1964—make up the bulk of the age group over 50 and this generation is more likely to divorce than older and younger generations.

Boomers were more likely to divorce during their younger adult years, and their divorce rates have also continued to rise as they age.

Gray divorce is also impacted by the number of previous marriages and the number of years a person has been married. Remarriages are less likely to last, and people who have been married nine years or less are more likely to divorce.

While length of marriage is a risk factor for gray divorce, many couples who split after the age of 50 have been in marriages lasting decades.
According to statistics by the Pew Research Center, 34% of gray divorces are between couples married for at least 30 years, and 12% are between couples married 40 years or longer.

Reasons people cite for reason they wanted a gray divorce:

One-sided relationships where partners have different interests, dreams and goals
Feeling that the marriage has become stagnant
Lack of fulfillment
Searching for meaningful connection
Empty nest syndrome and a need to be independent
Desire for personal growth, mental well-being and improving quality of life
Life-changing events, like near-death experiences or surviving an illness

Quiet quitting in a relationship - where partners emotionally check out, stop investing effort, and just go through the motions — frequently acts as a precursor to a gray divorce.

Health Effects

Gray divorce can also have a range of health effects. Married people tend to be healthier and live longer than their unmarried counterparts.
While that might be the case more generally, that doesn't mean that each individual marriage is good for a person's health. An unhappy marriage can be a source of considerable stress and strife, which is associated with a range of negative health effects.
a low-quality marriage may actually lead to worse health outcomes. For people in unhealthy relationships → ending the marriage may ultimately have a positive impact on overall health and well-being.

Maintaining Health and Wellness During Gray Divorce

Gray divorce can be a major transition, but there are steps you can take to help maintain your health and well-being through gray divorce
Separation and divorce are highly personal.
The experts we spoke to suggest taking the following steps to protect your well-being and help you thrive following a divorce

Find Support - Having the support of friends and family is pivotal. Loneliness is a common problem for older single adults, so maintaining social connections outside of your marriage can help mitigate this risk.
Give Yourself Time - While divorce is difficult at any age, ending a long-term relationship might be harder to process. Give yourself time and grace as you navigate these complex emotions. It's normal to feel grief, sadness, anger, bitterness, and relief.
Set Boundaries - Create and maintain boundaries with your ex, as well as with kids and friends who may feel the need to express their opinions about the end of your relationship.
Practice self care - The sudden change in your routine, relationships, and living situation can throw a wrench into your normal self-care routine. That’s why it is important to make an effort to maintain routines and stick with your self-care goals.
Talk to a financial counselor - Because financial and economic changes are common after a gray divorce, consider talking to a financial professional. They can help you develop a budget appropriate for your new financial situation and help manage debt, so you're better prepared for your financial future.
Manage Stress - Divorce is stressful, and dealing with the changes you’re experiencing can sometimes make it hard to cope. Look for relaxation techniques that can help combat symptoms of stress. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, mindfulness, and meditation are just a few you might try.
Cultivate New Connections - The reality is that your relationships will likely change after a gray divorce. You may spend less time with many of your shared friends or even lose those relationships altogether. That’s why it’s so important to seek out new social connections as you rebuild your life as a single person. This can involve making new friends, or it might even include eventually dating again, whether that involves casual dating or seeking a new long-term partner.